Facing The Pain Read online

  “I won’t let Duke or Jules hurt Eve or her child. If I know Jules, he’ll want the child to raise so he would get Duke to fight for it. The best thing would be if it’s a little girl and then Jules wouldn’t care.” That part is easy to answer but the second part, not so much. “If Eve remembers her real identity and wants to leave, then I will help her go wherever she wants to go. It’s the right thing to do.”

  “Have you thought about when the time comes and you need to face your dad and brother? If this thing blows up and they come for Eve, you know the club has already voted to protect her. Are you prepared for that?” Garner asks me.

  “I am the sergeant-at-arms and I always do my duties. I left my family behind when they tried to control me. I wouldn’t let them control me then and it won’t happen now.” I don’t even need to think about it.

  “It’s hard to put family down no matter how much they need it,” Horn puts in.

  “The Sons of Wrath MC is my family and Eve will be my family, not Jules and Duke. If I haven’t proved that, then I don’t think I ever will.” The room is quiet.

  “You’ve more than proved yourself and you are our brother, but we know it will be difficult. We will all be here to support you. Alright, boys, I need a motion.” Garner bangs his gavel.

  “I motion we support Deacon in his claiming of Eve,” Kentucky says with a smile.

  “I second,” Horn speaks up.

  “All for.” Garner sees the hands and they all go up. There’s no one that doesn’t support me. “Anyone against.” No hands are lifted. “Then it passes. Deacon, claim that woman of yours and I hope you know what you’re doing brother.”

  “That makes two of us,” I say and Garner bangs his gavel again.

  “Dismissed. Let’s eat,” Garner says.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  EVE

  A Date For Life

  I have changed my clothes ten times and I am back where I started. I look at myself again. My makeup and hair are not so bad, but my clothes just don’t fit right anymore, if they ever did. My jeans are a bit snug and I know I am going to need to go shopping very soon. Out of all the things I have had to worry about, clothes just don’t rank. I have been wearing an old pair of sweats that I know were never mine. They are three sizes too big and they look like male sweats. I have the matching hoodie to go with them. Do I have an older brother, maybe? I don’t care, the sweats are comfortable and they make me feel safe. Is that even normal? I guess it is my normal. I’m brought out of my thoughts by a knock on my front door. I didn’t hear Deacon’s bike. Maybe the prospect needs to use the bathroom or maybe Deacon has changed his mind. I walk into the living room and open the door.

  “I’ve told you to look out the window first. Woman, what am I going to do with you?” Deacon has a smile on his face. He has repeatedly told me this and I have always have the same response.

  “How am I supposed to know if it’s someone it shouldn’t be?” I smile back and reach for the small bouquet of flowers in his hand. “You bought me flowers, thank you.” I step back and let Deacon in. “Do bikers always bring flowers when they go on a date? It’s very unexpected and sweet.” Deacon smiles broader. Deacon steps in and shuts the door.

  “I’m not all bikers and I stopped and got gas in Garner’s truck. The store had them in a display cabinet and I thought you would like them. They made you smile, so I chose right.” Deacon seems happy he made me happy. That gives me tingles all throughout my body. Deacon cares what I think.

  “I was hoping you’d think about the baby. My mind went blank when you said bike ride. I was simply happy you asked me on a date,” I tell the man. I know I’m blushing.

  “Can we sit and talk about that for a few minutes before we go eat? I did something today and I need to tell you about it.” I knew this was too good to be true.

  “Sure.” I try not to show my disappointment.

  “It’s nothing bad so quit looking like I kicked your puppy. It’s just something that is about you, so I need to share.” That doesn’t sound so bad. “Here, sit for just a few minutes.” I do as Deacon says and wait for him to tell me. I can do this even if it is bad. I look at Deacon and he is pacing in front of me.

  “Just tell me,” I tell the tortured-looking man.

  “I claimed you in front of the club today. I know I should have asked and we should have talked it over before I did it, but I just wanted it handled.” Claimed? I’m not sure I understand what he’s saying.

  “I’m not a piece of luggage. You can’t just claim me. What does claim mean to you?” I’m trying to understand and not panic, but Deacon’s pacing is making me nervous. Deacon stops and looks at me and I pat the sofa beside me. Deacon sits down and faces me and takes my hand in his.

  “In the club, claiming means we are as good as married except there is no turning back from this unless I decide it. You and your child belong to me now and I will protect you until my last breath and so will all my brothers in the club,” Deacon says. I don’t like the way it sounds at first and I take my hand back. I start to get up to get away from Deacon but then it’s like a lighting flash—my child and I will be safe.

  “How do you know I am in danger? There’s nothing your club or the cops have found to show I am in trouble.” I am trying to come to grips with all this.

  “You had a car you just bought. You had no cell phone and nothing to tie yourself to anyone. It was like you were on the run—no checkbook and no credit cards. I don’t know of any other explanation and no one has come looking for you. It doesn’t matter. I still want you even if you’re not in trouble. I have felt drawn to you since day one. Is this all one-sided?” I almost lie to him, but I can’t do that to Deacon. He’s been nothing but good to me and so has his club.

  “No, I didn’t say that. I feel the same pull, but I have a life inside me that depends on my decisions and I don’t even who the father is. I don’t know if I can trust my own judgement.” I feel the tears stinging my eyes.

  “If you are mine, then all that worry goes away. I’m the only one to worry. You can concentrate on bringing this child, our child, into this world. Please, just take a chance and trust me. I won’t let you down, either of you. I will be this child’s father and your man. I will never let anything happen to either of you.” Deacon has his hand where my child is safe inside me. Can I do this? Can I trust Deacon? I only think a second and I know the answer. I already do trust Deacon. Right or wrong, I just do.

  “Deacon, I don’t know where I come from or if I have need to be concerned about it, but I know I trust you. I trust you with my life and the life of this child.” I put my hand on top of his. “Just, please, don’t hurt me. I can take not knowing my past if I know we are working toward a future together. Don’t make me regret it.” I hope and pray I am doing the right thing. It seems right. Everything feels so much better the closer I am to Deacon.

  “I will do whatever it is to make both of you happy and safe. I swear it on my life.” That’s the last thing I hear before Deacon takes my mouth and owns it. The kiss isn’t a regular kiss. My man is marking his territory and I love every damn bit of it. I give to him everything that he is giving to me. Deacon’s hand moves from my baby bump to my ass and before I know what is happening, I am climbing him and wrapping my legs around the man that has my panties drenched. The moans coming from me show Deacon exactly how much I like what he’s doing. Deacon never asks or hesitates. He’s showing me that I belong to him and him alone. Deacon walks us to the bedroom and I don’t realize it until I feel the bed underneath me. He pulls my shirt over my head and lavishes my breasts with kisses as he gets rid of my bra. My head is swimming. I must be drunk off his kisses. When he sucks my nipple into his mouth, my back comes off the bed, but he firmly presses my body down with his hand as he unsnaps my jeans. He is kissing and nipping on the skin of my belly and I want more. I want to push his head further down, but Deacon is having none of it. This man is in charge and my body is trembling with need.


  “If you don’t want this, you need to say it now. You need to know that after I am inside you, there will be no turning back. Eve, I don’t ask, and I am in control of all things in our bed. I’m a selfish bastard but I will always worship every inch of this delicious body. When we are in our bed, I am Braden to you. Can you handle all that?” Deacon asks me in a husky voice. I can see the lust in his eyes and there’s no way any woman could say no to him.

  “I want more,” I say in a sexy voice that I barely recognize.

  “Damn, woman, I knew you were made for me,” Deacon says to me. He stands up and pulls my jeans and panties the rest of the way down my legs and when he finishes, he drops his jeans and his cock springs free. It is one amazingly beautiful, mean-looking cock. I don’t have anything to compare it to in my mind, but I am sure it’s length and girth would be impressive to anyone. I stare at it and I hear Deacon laugh.

  “Do you like what you see, darlin’?” Deacon asks me.

  “I might be a bit intimidated.” That makes him laugh harder.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make it all feel good for you. First, I want to taste the goods and then I will take you over and over all night long.” That makes me tingle in all the right places and I feel myself getting slick. I rub my legs together.

  “Promises, promises,” I taunt the man and then I do something I never thought I would. I open my legs so Deacon can see just how wet I am for him. Deacon widens my leg further with his hands and runs a finger from my slit to my clit and then he makes good on all the promises he just made. I never did get that date or dinner that night.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  DEACON

  Nothing Stays Lost Forever

  TWO YEARS LATER…

  The last two years have been the best of my life. I know the day that Eve walked into my life was a turning point for me. It was a turning point for the entire Sons of Wrath MC.

  Eve is an amazing woman. She came up with the idea of our club going legit after three of our brothers went down for ten years for possession charges. They got off lucky. They didn’t get a distribution charge which would have given them twenty years instead of the dime. She couldn’t stand the thought of any more of us going away so she came up with an alternative way for us to make good money without breaking many laws. Horn and I operate a bounty hunter business and we use our club brothers as our muscle. It’s a win-win situation. With the number of brothers we have, no one is gone for a very long time to pick up runners. The brothers with records still work in the garage which was expanded into a repo business. We aren’t rolling in the dough yet, but we are all out of danger of making prison our home. Eve feels better about the situation and we are mostly legit.

  Eve had our daughter on a cold stormy night. We named her Stormy Eve Crowder. I signed the papers for her to get my last name. She is her mom’s mini-me, and she has my heart wrapped around her tiny fingers along with all the other brothers in the club. Life is good in our little family and this morning Eve told me she is going to give me another child. I know it’s time to put a ring on Eve’s finger and make her mine in the eyes of the law. It’s not like she isn’t mine already, but I want that paper to make it binding. I have decided that I won’t marry the woman that owns me until I come clean with her about her past, or what I know anyway.

  I know I am taking the chance of her running on me, but I don’t think my woman would do that to me. I know she would never take our children away from their dad. Eve doesn’t have it in her or that’s what I am banking on anyway. Today is the day and I hope like hell that Eve understands that I was just protecting her. I know she is going to lose her shit first, but she’ll calm down and then I won’t ever need to worry about losing her ever again. I’ve been looking over my shoulder for far too long. It’s time to get on with our lives with no secrets between the two of us. The more I have come to love Eve, the more that I realize I have been selfish to keep her for myself. I will never give her or our family up and I couldn’t walk away if I tried, but it’s time for me to share her with the family she left behind. The things I have discovered the last two years about her dad and brothers is they love her, and I am sure they miss her. I can’t imagine one day in my life without the woman. We’ll all deal with Duke and Jules together.

  We got the word last week that the Rival Sins MC is looking for one of theirs and there is a reward to go with the finder fee. It’s only a matter of time before someone traces her here. I wish I could say that this information had nothing to do with my decision to tell Eve now, but I’d be a damn liar. It scares the hell out of me that Eve may hate me for keeping this from her, but I know she loves me. I’m not a sentimental man and I’ve never believed before Eve there was this all- consuming love, but Eve was the game-changer for me. I believe love will win and that makes me the luckiest man. I know I don’t deserve it. I’ll never be the man that Eve deserves, but I will work my ass off every day to be the best I can for her.

  I walk into the clubhouse and make a beeline to get a quick beer before I drive home and have this talk with Eve. I have been gone for four days on a bounty hunt. I didn’t want to go on this skip, but I had no choice. No one else was available so Garner and I had to do it. Our bounty hunting business has been busy since the day we opened the doors. This man and woman gave us a run for our money, but Garner and I caught them right before they went over the border. They’re in custody and the ride back gave me time to clear my head and put things in order so I can tell Eve about her past.

  As soon as my eyes see Eve standing at the bar with her back to me, I know something is wrong. I see three men standing beside her that I don’t know. I then see the emblem on the back of one of their cuts and I know my time of avoiding this has come to an end and I have a lot of explaining to do. Who the hell let members of another club in our clubhouse? I look over my shoulder at Garner. He’s been behind me the whole time.

  “Did you know about this?” I ask. He’s looking at his phone.

  “They’ve been trying to reach us on the phone. Tracker, Sinister, and Bent have been here since last night and Eve is pissed. They told her what they knew,” Garner says so only I can hear. “Think about what you’re going to say before you say it,” Garner warns. I take big strides to get to my woman and she comes to me in my arms willingly. I kiss her with all I have. I hear someone clear their throat and I turn and look at the man.

  “You the man my daughter has been shacking up with?” I look at the man’s cut and then to his face.

  “I would watch your tone when you’re talking about my woman.” I take a step closer to Tracker. The man smiles at me.

  “Boy, I would watch your mouth if I were you. Charlie is my daughter and I’ve been told she has amnesia and doesn’t remember but it’s nothing a test can’t prove. If she has no memory, then why would you claim her until she knows who she is? Sounds kind of shady to me.” I ignore the question. I turn and look at my woman.

  “I need to talk to you alone. I’ll explain everything,” I tell Eve. Eve looks at me and I see her red swollen eyes. My woman has been crying, and I wasn’t here to hold her. I have let her down.

  “If what your brothers have told us is true then why do you need to talk to Charlie? What do you need to talk about that we can’t hear?” Bent asks. I never look away from Eve.

  “Let’s go to my room and we can talk.” Eve nods her head yes. “Where’s Stormy?”

  “She’s napping in your room.” I see the monitor sitting on the bar and I reach for it. Eve stops me.

  “I need an answer first. This man says he’s my dad, and that I had a gun with me in my car. You said the guys got all my stuff out of the car before they salvaged it. Did they find the gun?” I know Eve is confused and I don’t know what all she’s been told. I hesitate.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  EVE

  The Truth

  Deacon hesitates to answer. I was hoping he wouldn’t. I may not have a memory, but I know when someone has lied to
me and it’s written all over Deacon’s face. Garner has said nothing. I look at all Deacon’s brothers and not a one of them can look me in the eye and that includes Deacon. Have I been wrong to trust the man I love with my whole heart?

  “Answer the question, Deacon. If there is any love for me at all in your heart, please, tell me the entire truth,” I beg.

  “Nothing has changed, Eve, I love you and I love our family. Alright, I have things I need to tell you, but I was going to tell you today anyway. I want you to be my wife and I was going to come clean about everything before I proposed, before we make it legal,” Deacon tells me as he moves closer to me. I step back from him.

  “Tell me now.” I can’t get anything else out. My mind won’t focus. The man I have come to love more than life itself in the last two years and the club that has become my family lied to me. Why? I have nothing to give them. They have nothing to gain.

  “Sit down, this will take a little bit. You look like you’re going to fall. Babe, I love you. Please just sit and listen.” I move further away from Deacon and sit on one of the leather couches. Garner, Deacon and the three men that I met yesterday, all follow me. The rest of the club brothers spread out throughout the room. “Tell me.”

  “The wreck you were in that night was meant for me. I was being chased by one of our rival clubs. I swerved but the suburban behind wasn’t fast enough to miss you. When I met you in the hospital, I had no idea who you were. Horn ran your prints and we found out before you left the hospital. I was attracted to you the first time I set my eyes on you and there is no lie in that.” Deacon stops and I look up into his eyes and see the truth there, or am I seeing what I want to see? “The amnesia was all on the up and up. The club made sure you had the best doctors. We also knew where you came from, but we had no idea why you were on the run. Horn found out that you had ties to Jules and Duke from the Rival Sins MC south chapter. Jules is the man that I grew up thinking was my father and Duke is my brother. I found out Jules wasn’t my father. We had a falling out and I left the Rival Sins MC and came here. Garner and Kentucky are my blood uncles on my mom’s side of the family, and they let me join the Sons of Wrath.” Deacon stops and looks at me. “When Horn found out that you could be Duke’s woman and you were running, all I wanted to do was protect you and Stormy. Neither of those men should ever touch someone as good as you or your child. I wouldn’t let that happen. The gun was found, and I have it in my safe at home but by that time, I already knew who you were.” Deacon and every Sons of Wrath member lied to me. They lied to my face every day I was here. I am so confused. Why? Why would anyone mess with someone’s life that way? Does Deacon love me or is it a power play with his dad and brother?