Surviving For Tomorrow (Demented MC: Quitman Chapter Book 1) Read online

  Knew I was caught. What can I say to that? Fortunately, about that time Shelby decides to open her eyes and she reaches for Brody. “Hello there, beautiful. I am a little too dirty to hold you right now. I’m sure your mom doesn’t want my sweat all over you.” Brody is playing with Shelby’s hand, and she is flirting with her shy smiles.

  “I’m sorry if that came out sounding unthankful. I have allergies and mowing drives them crazy, so I am very grateful. I was just worried about you getting too much sun.” I smile at him. I know I am stumbling through this conversation. His eyes are so beautiful, I could get lost in them, and I am. What is wrong with me?

  My next question makes me want to bite my tongue. “Would you like to have supper with us tonight? It’s the least I can do. I need to get some directions to the mall. I’m going to Tyler tomorrow shopping, and I want to make sure I don’t get lost.”

  “You’re going shopping tomorrow?” He looks at me for a second like he is thinking to himself. “Would you mind if I tag along? I need to make a run to one of the sporting goods stores to grab some new running shoes.”

  “We can talk about it over pizza if you like?” I have to think of a way out of this. Brody and I in a vehicle for a straight hour is way too much of a temptation, and it would be an hour there and an hour back. “If you don’t have anything else to do. I know you are a busy man.”

  “Actually, that sounds great, but only if I get to buy the pizza. I need to grab a shower right quick, and it should be here by the time I get out.” This man is too good to me. He tries to help in every way. I’ll think of some way out of going tomorrow.

  “That is a no go for me. You cut my grass, so I pay, but you have time to get a shower.” Even though I really like the view, he definitely needs to put a shirt back on.

  Brody puts his hands up like he is surrendering and then gives me the biggest smile. It almost makes me melt right on the spot. What the heck is wrong with me? I’m not some love sick teenager. I shut my feelings down and come back to reality. It’s a trick I learned dealing with Kendall’s abuse.

  “Ok. You win. I’ll get that shower and be back.” He goes back over to his lawn mower and starts pushing it back to his yard and then I remember I don’t know what kind of pizza he likes.

  “Hey, what do you like on your pizza?” I see Audie come out on her porch and I wave.

  “Any kind of meat, just no anchovies or pineapple, unless that is what you like.” He is so nice. Too nice.

  “Meat lovers for me.” He salutes me and keeps going to his yard, and I get Shelby in the house. I go straight to the phone and order two large pizzas. A lot for two people but I love cold pizza for breakfast. Not the healthiest thing but it works, and I can send some home with Brody. He’s a big man and I am sure he can put the food away.

  I see Shelby has fallen back to sleep so I put her down on the couch and go and make her some cheese and mac and some steamed veggies. I let her eat a little pizza, but I try to give her some healthy, too. I get it all done and see Shelby is still asleep so I take the opportunity to change into some shorts and a comfortable t-shirt. I lay out Shelby’s pajamas while I am upstairs because there is no way I am putting her to bed before Brody leaves.

  I hear a motorcycle next door at Audie’s so I look out my bedroom window, and sure enough, Rebel is at his mom’s. Hopefully, that is where he will stay. One sexy man a day is all I can handle. I hurry back downstairs and peek in at Shelby. She’s still sleeping, but I am waking her up very soon.

  I go into the kitchen and fix Shelby her little plate up, and then I go in and start giving her angel kisses on her eyelids and cheeks. She pushes me away at first but when she realizes it is just me she is happy and rewards me with a big smile. I love my little girl so much.

  I hear a knock at my front door, and I am guessing it is the pizza boy so I scoop Shelby up and sit her on the floor and get my purse to answer the door. I smell the pizza in the boxes, and it makes my mouth water. I pay him and take the pizza in the kitchen with Shelby following along behind me. I hear a knock at my back door, and I start for the door, but Shelby beats me there and is doing her little dance she does when she wants the door open.

  “Patience little one. Your friend is here.” I open the door, but it is the wrong man. There stands Rebel with a sexy smile on his face. This is not my day. I step back so Rebel can come in just as Brody comes in behind him. I look at both of them and then at the pizza boxes in my hand. I notice then that Shelby has walked in between the two men and she is looking up at both of them. I take the pizza and set it down on the table.

  “Did you forget my invitation to eat?” Rebel is looking from me to Brody. What can I say to that?

  “Would you like to join us to eat? I bought plenty.” Brody looks annoyed.

  “No. I am on my way out of town for a run and wanted to check in. I’ll be back early next week. Everything going ok for you?” Rebel is asking me questions, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off Brody.

  Then he does something completely out of character. He reaches down and picks up Shelby, and she is all smiles. “How are you, beautiful?” Audie told me that Rebel and Shelby have gotten used to each other and I can see that she loves the attention. She puts her arms around his neck and hugs him and then gives him a sloppy kiss. It makes Rebel laugh, and I have to say he didn’t even wipe the slobbers off his cheek.

  Shelby is cutting teeth, and she can drool. For someone not used to babies, he didn’t even flinch. He kisses the top of her head and puts her back down. She runs over and wraps herself around Brody’s legs. Brody stoops down and starts talking to Shelby quietly, and she runs into his arms. She rewards him with the same kind of sloppy kisses. Then runs to the living room to play with her box of toys.

  “I just wanted my Shelby fix before I left. She’s a great kid. I have played with her at Ma’s, and I like spending time with her.”

  “I thought you weren’t used to children. You didn’t even wipe the sloppy kiss off.” I laugh as I say it.

  “Well her kisses are worth it. She’s an angel like her mom.” I know the last part was so Brody would hear. “I also wanted to let you know that I will be taking you and Shelby to the fall festival in Quitman next weekend. They have kiddie rides and face painting and other things for small kids.”

  That was unexpected, and I don’t like being told what I am going to do. “It’s a way to get her used to the small town Texas. A bunch of the guys are going with their families, and I’d like for you and Shelby to go with me. Ma is going too.” It sounds nice, but I don’t want him to think I want to date.

  “Well if Audie is going I would like to. Thank you. I can bring Audie with me when we meet you there.” Hopefully, he’ll get the point. Rebel just laughs but so does Brody.

  “I’ll pick all three of you up next Saturday morning. Be sure to bring Shelby some extra clothes. We will be gone all day. I want to take you to the clubhouse and let you meet everyone.” Guess it is not a date, so I am ok with this. We won’t be by ourselves, and I’ve already met a bunch of Rebel’s friends from his club.

  “Do you think your clubhouse is the right place on a Saturday for Shelby and Gracie? That’s party night.” Brody seems concerned but surely with Audie with us, it can’t be too bad. She’d never want Shelby around a rowdy place.

  “Not that it is your business Brody, but it is family time, not Saturday night. No party that early just a cookout.” I see the looks going between Brody and Rebel, and something is definitely off.

  “You mean Jade isn’t going to be there or any of the other club women?” Rebel just gave Brody a glare that makes a cold chill run up my spine.

  “Jade is none of your concern Brody and neither is anything else to do with the Demented Revengers MC. Stay out of it.” Rebel has gone completely still and is shooting daggers out of his eyes at Brody but Brody doesn’t seem bothered by it, and there is something up with this Jade woman.

  “If you are taking Gracie to your clubhouse she ne
eds to know all the facts before she takes her daughter there.” Rebel moves towards Brody. I step in between the two and both seem to calm just a little, but then Brody says the one thing I never expected. “Does Gracie know Jade is your woman?”

  I look at Rebel and not for a second have I thought of Rebel as anything but an annoying friend, but when Brody said that I went still. I thought of all the times Kendall cheated on me, and Rebel has done nothing but flirt with me since I have been here. Rebel has a girlfriend or more. I back away from both Rebel and Brody. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. I look at Rebel, and he has a death glare on Brody. He knows he has been outed to me.

  “Rebel, I will meet you there Saturday and bring Audie. I would like to meet your girlfriend Jade.” I feel cold inside, but I’ll be darned if I let Rebel know he has made me feel worse than when Kendall hit me.

  “Gracie, I will pick you up Saturday and then you and I will have a talk about how my club works. Don’t argue with me, because it will do you no good.” His eyes are heated with his anger, but they soften some when he looks at me. “Brody, you just remember that you started this.” With that, he turns and walks out. I’m left speechless.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you, but there are a few things you need to know about his club before you go there.” Brody walks in the living room while I try to compose myself. I will not let another man get to me. Brody comes back in with Shelby in his arms, and he puts her in her high chair.

  “Do you have a girlfriend too that I need to know about?” I get a rag from the sink and wipe Shelby’s hands off and then I hand her the plate I fixed earlier. I go to the cabinet and get Shelby’s cup out and get the milk out of the fridge, filling her cup, and hand it to her. Brody still hasn’t answered me. “Can I get you something to drink? I have milk, sweet tea, juice, and water.” I wait for him to answer. He is getting plates from the cabinet.

  “Water is fine and no I don’t have a girlfriend or a woman or anyone else.” I grab two bottles of water out of the fridge and grab some napkins for the table. We both sit down in chairs opposite of each other, and I put his water in front of him with a napkin. He hands me my plate. We both look at each other, and both grab for the pizza at the same time.

  His hand moves over mine, but I am not playing these games with anyone. I hear Rebel gun his motorcycle down the street. The only one happy right now is Shelby, and that is because she has her mouth stuffed with cheese and mac. Looking at her makes me smile.

  To be a baby again. I look back over at Brody. “Okay, spill it. You’re dying to, so do it. You told Jilly you would help protect me so do exactly that. Be a friend and just tell me whatever you and Rebel were dancing around.” I never take my eyes away from his.

  What the hell am I doing? I feel like I am falling again, but I can’t seem to help myself. Brody moves his hands away, and I open the box and put a couple of slices of pizza on each plate. Brody looks away from me but then back with a determined look on his face.

  “Can we eat and then maybe watch a movie with Shelby?” I look in his eyes, and I can see he is battling some demon but can’t put my finger on what exactly it is about this man that draws me to him. “We can talk after you put her to bed, please?” When he says please I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, and I know I can’t tell him no.

  “Okay, but I want some answers tonight.” I give him a small smile and about that time Shelby throws her sippy on the floor. We both smile at her and Brody reaches over and picks it up for her and gives her a big smile. We finish our meal saying very little to each other. Shelby finishes, and she is a mess as she usually is when she feeds herself.

  “Why don’t you get her bath and I will clean up so we can watch that movie?” Brody is watching me and trying to guess my next move.

  “Okay, sounds like a good deal, but I have to say that Shelby is into princess movies right now so be warned.” Brody rolls his eyes, but he laughs at the same time.

  I take Shelby and get her a quick bath. Doesn’t take long and I have to change my clothes again because my girl loves to splash. Twenty minutes later we are downstairs, and we pop a princess movie into the DVD player. Brody is sitting on one end of my sofa with Shelby in between us. It’s not fifteen minutes into the movie and Shelby is out cold. She is snoozing away.

  “I’ll take her upstairs if you want to pop another movie in and then we will have that talk.” I look at Brody, and he doesn’t say anything, but his eyes tell me he is not looking forward to this conversation.

  I carry Shelby into her room and tuck her in quietly, and tippy toe out leaving her bedroom door cracked so I can hear her if she wakes up crying. I look back at her and realize soon I will have to be looking for her a toddler bed. My baby is getting big. I leave her there resting peacefully to get to a conversation I think I am going to have to pull out of Brody.

  When I walk in the living room, I realize Brody has not put another movie in, and he has the overhead light on. We’d had the dimmer lights on before, but I guess he feels more comfortable this way. I want him to know I am not going to let this go, so I get right to the point.

  “Alright spill it. What is going on between you and Rebel and what does it have to do with me?” I’m not attached to either of them, and I don’t want to be. I have to say I am attracted to both of them but that does not mean I would ever act on that attraction. I am just getting out of a very bad relationship, and I need to concentrate on getting my life in order and taking care of my daughter.

  I look at Brody closely, and he looks like he is fighting with himself over telling me what I want to know.

  “I think I have inadvertently put a target on you. Rebel and I have a history of caring about the same women. Rebel thinks I am interested in you, so he is determined to have you. There are things about the motorcycle club life you don’t understand.” He lets out a breath like it was hard to say but then he goes on. “You need to be careful when it comes to Rebel. I’m not saying he is a bad person or club life is bad but it is different, and you need to understand that before you get involved with him.”

  “Number one, what makes you think I will get involved with him? You two are something else. I am not looking for any kind of relationship. I just want to be friends. Why would he think you are interested in me?” I don’t understand any of this.

  “Most women fall for Rebel. Why I don’t know. The whole bad boy thing.” He looks in my eyes and then back down to the floor. “He could tell I was interested in you because he knows me. I won’t lie; I am attracted to you, and I want to be your friend and maybe more someday. Rebel and I just have a bad history when it comes to women.”

  “I got the part about you and Rebel not getting along so well, but I don’t want to be a reason for that. Wait, you’re attracted to me? Why?” I am shocked. This man is hot, and he is attracted to me. No, this can’t make a difference. “Have you looked in the mirror and then looked at me?” I don’t know why I just blurted this out but damn. I’m glad no one else is in my mind. Brody has an annoyed look on his face.

  “What do you mean by that? What is wrong with you? You’re beautiful, and any man with a brain would be lucky to have you with them. Your ex was just an ass and didn’t know what he had. Everyone is not like him Gracie.” That puts a smile on my face. Brody thinks I am beautiful.

  “Let’s sit and talk, but if I am going to give you Rebel’s and my story, then, you are giving me yours. It’s only fair, and I don’t want the condensed form that Jilly gave us. I want it all and I will in exchange give you the whole ugly story of Rebel, Jilly, and me. Deal?”

  “My story isn’t a storybook tale but you know that, and it gets ugly. Are you sure you want all the sordid details?” I want him to know this is not easy for me. I sit down, and he sits beside me. “You first.” That’ll give me time to clear my head and decide how to tell it all to him.

  “Well like you said this is not a pretty story.” He looks at me, and I nod my head to give him encouragement t
o go ahead. “You know I was adopted and Rebel and Jilly and I all grew up together. They were my best friends and my family and to this day I know in a crunch Rebel will always cover my back and I would do the same for him as long as it is legal.” He hesitates and looks like he is trying to measure his words.

  “Jilly and I were raised like cousins, family. Rebel hung out with both of us. You can see how close we were raised in this neighborhood. Rebel always said Jilly was his girl. We both looked out for her, and she was our partner in crime. We were into everything.” I see he is having problems getting this out.

  “It’s okay. I’m not going to judge you. Just say whatever it is that you need to.” I try to reassure him. He looks at me and gives me a weak smile. For such a strong man he is having a lot of problems getting this out.

  “All of that was fine until our hormones took over and people started judging Rebel for some of the things he did.” He looks at me one last time and then gets up and starts to pace my living room floor.

  “Rebel’s dad was not the best dad, and Rebel started acting out. He started experimenting with the wilder side of life just to get a reaction out of his dad, and he got that in spades. Jilly’s parents started to dislike the time Rebel spent with Jilly. They loved Rebel, but they thought he would be a bad influence.

  “At the time dad worked at the Sheriff’s office, and he had to bring Rebel home a few times, and he was thrown in the drunk tank a few times when dad wasn’t there until someone picked him up.” Brody looks at me and smiles. “It wasn’t like it is now. Back then the whole neighborhood took care of each other’s kids. Instead of calling the state in they would just take the kid home and talk to the parents.”

  Brody looks deep in thought. “Back then sometimes that was worse. Now I sound like an old man always saying back then, anyway. After a while, Jilly and I had to sneak around to spend time with our friend and a lot of time he would be too busy with his new friends, so Jilly and I spent a lot of time together. That’s when we started having feelings for each other that weren’t appropriate for family.