Beauty From The Ashes Of Destruction (Rebellions 4 Blood MC Book 2) Read online

  “For your information, we have had a paternity test done and are waiting on the results. I would have had it done earlier but Retta wouldn’t cooperate. The results should be back next week.” Stealth stops and looks at the floor. His eyes come to me. “If I’m the dad, then I will be there for my child, but I’m not marrying or claiming a woman I don’t love. I’ll do my part in raising the child but that’s where I draw the line.”

  “That’s all you need to do but until that child is born, you need to protect the mom. If Drew is worth having, then she will stick it out with you. I swear, brother, for someone that has never wanted to be tied down, you have a complicated personal life. Just try keeping your dick in your pants for a while.” I smile as I say it, trying to lighten the load off Cru London/Stealth. Cru and I may be brothers in the club, but he is also my twin. I know he’s carrying a load on his shoulders. Cru has one woman pregnant, even if he doesn’t remember doing the deed, and then he is in love with a woman that is in the military. She has decided to give the military up for Cru. Instead of being honest, he is trying to keep the two women in the dark about each other and it’s more of a job than he thought it would be. Cru has never had much luck with women. He acts like a hard-ass toward women and children, but he just doesn’t want to get hurt. He hates putting his heart on the line. I say if you don’t take some chances, then you’ll never know where it may go. Dad says that Cru and I may have shared the womb for nine months, but we are total opposites.

  “We have business to discuss tonight at church. It’s time to talk about giving the Legions MC our patch. They have been a good support club, and they have put their time in and showed us loyalty. It’s time we show them respect and give them the chance to become members of the Rebellions 4 Blood MC. I know they’re supposed to be on a probationary period for one year but we need the manpower. Anyone protecting my family is going to be bound not only by their word but by the brotherhood of the patch. Keys has already done a background check on each of their members so there is no waiting period. We can then recruit slower, so no one slips through Keys’ background checks. I want everything done properly so there are no mistakes.” Sarge looks like he is deep in thought. “I want both of you to reach out and make contact with any of our old buddies that might have been discharged from the military and see if they may be interested in relocating here to northeast Texas. Then we would know they were trained properly. I have this feeling we are going to be hit from more than one direction. I won’t ignore my gut. It’s kept my ass alive up ‘til now. I just want us ready.” Sarge hesitates and then looks at me directly. “Shield, I want an answer from you if Maddie is on board with you moving in by the meeting. I know you wanted to handle this your way and take it slow, but we are running out of time. You’ve got two hours to get that answer or Maddie will be told she will need to get ready to make some changes. I’m sorry, brother, but we need to consider the safety of the entire family. The threats have been made and we can stand around hoping that’s all it is—threats—but from my experience, most clubs don’t make threats they won’t try to follow through with and you know that. I won’t take chances with Maddie and her children’s lives and I know if Dra and Krill don’t hear back from us soon, they will be here to get the children at least. It’s the opportunity Dra has been looking for to get his foot back in the door with Maddie. So, two hours, Shield.” I know Sarge is right. I should have already addressed this with Maddie, but I was trying to give her time to come to me. The rules of engagement have just changed. It’s time for me to claim what is mine. I look at Sarge and Stealth.

  “I’m going to claim what is mine. I’ll be back on time.” I know it’s time to make Maddie mine.

  6

  Maddie…

  When Shield left this afternoon, I was disappointed. I know I was crossing the line of being just friends. I was trying to get a rise out of Shield, and I got what I asked for. So much so, he left this house like the devil was on his tail. I know Shield is attracted to me. I just wonder how far that attraction goes. I should feel awful about what I did, but I don’t. It felt good. I felt like a woman in control. I wasn’t being a niece, sister, or mom. I was just a woman for once. I like Shield but I don’t want to concentrate on that too hard. I think I like him as more than just a friend, but I won’t put that thought in my head. Shield is attentive and fun to be around. My physical attraction to him is set on full-scale panty-melting hot, and he listens to what I have to say. Is that more than friendship? My experience with the other sex boils down to Dra and most of that was bad. I will admit that now, but I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t have B and Lucas if I did. I think I am just ready to move on from Dra. I have been for a while, but this is the next step. It just doesn’t come as easy to me as it did to Micah. The whole dating thing was never important to me. I prefer to read an enjoyable book than go to a party. I prefer to cuddle on the couch in my soft socks, pajamas, and a soft blanket with old movies than to go club hopping. I like sweet tea on the front porch, sitting in the swing as the sun goes down or orange juice in the morning as the sun rises. I’ve been told that I am an old soul in a young body. I should have my head examined for even thinking of making the moves on Shield, without knowing what moves I should be making. My inexperience with men gives me so many doubts. Then there is Dra, still trying to control me from all the way in Sunshine, Colorado. If I go for this with Shield, Dra needs to know he has no say in what Shield and I build together.

  I had to deal with his phone call over an hour ago. Dra had the balls to order me, B, and Lucas back to Colorado. He thought I would just drop my life here and move back. No, ma’am, not happening. He threatened me with custody of B and Lucas. I reminded him that he had to come to Texas to do that. I also reminded him of the pictures I had of him with other women. He doesn’t even know anything about Lucas and B is uncomfortable around her dad. Dra hurt her feelings too many times for her to forget. Dra was never out right abusive to B, but B heard too much even when I tried to hide everything from her. That’s something Dra will need to fix with B. I think the thing that hurt the most about the phone call was Krill backing Dra up on this. Krill, I thought, was my friend. I know he’s Dra’s brother by blood and by club, but I have always relied on Krill to be in my corner. Not this time. Krill said for me to come home. I would normally give in, not so much to Dra, but out of respect for Krill. I wasn’t nice when I told them both no and dared either of them to show their faces here. I’m not that woman anymore. I won’t ever be that woman again. That old Maddie died when Dra broke my heart for the last time. I know the children and I are safe here in our home.

  I guess I am overthinking things again. Dra was being Dra. I know safety precautions are being taken by Sarge and Shield. I trust them with the things most precious to me, my children. I have always felt safe on the Bass Haven Ranch and I am putting faith in Shield to keep me safe. I have come to trust that man and that is dangerous to my heart, but I can’t worry about that now.

  I take a deep breath and just relax for a minute trying to calm myself from my thoughts. I get up and walk to the door and start to reach for the door handle when the door is pushed open. I smile at Shield, but he has a determined look on his face. I’m not sure I want to know why. His eyes are taking me in from head to toe and he has that look in his eyes that tells me that he’s a man on a mission, and he likes what he sees. My panties are soaking from that one look. “Are you looking for me?” I ask breathlessly.

  “All my fucking life and it’s time we get a few things straight. But before we talk, I need a taste of you,” Shield says as he strides across the room toward me. I am in his arms and his mouth is on mine before I can say anything. I don’t know whether I’m in shock, and I can’t say anything or for once in my life or if I know I want this and decide to keep my mouth shut. Shield slides his hot tongue across my lips, and I open for him. That’s where my brain disconnects and my whole body takes over. My body is on fire from a need that I have refused to let myse
lf feel since before I left Dra. Way before I left him. Shield pushes me up against a wall and I love it. I climb up Shield’s body like a shameless hussy and I guess in this moment, I am. I give back to Shield as much as he is giving me. Shield cups my breasts with his large hands and rubs my nipples until I am purring like a damn cat. Damn, I love his touch.

  “Mommy, what are you and Uncle Shield doing?” That sweet little voice is like a bucket of ice being poured over me. I look at Shield.

  “Yes, Mommy, what is it that you and Shield are doing?” Micah stands in the doorway beside B. Shield pulls himself together first. He kisses my nose and lets my feet fall to the floor.

  “We are discussing me moving in the house with all of you. I like spending most of my time here, anyway. I love your mom’s cooking, and I get more playtime with you and Lucas this way,” Shield says as if he didn’t spring on me that he wants to move into this house with us. I straighten my clothes and hair the best I can, and I step away from Shield.

  “And I was explaining to Uncle Shield why I thought that was a bad idea. I didn’t want to take all his spare time.” I give Shield a sideways glance so he can see my anger.

  “No, Mommy, that’s mean. I want Uncle Shield to move in so we can play more,” B says, taking up for her favorite playmate. Micah laughs.

  “B, I think we need to give Mommy and Uncle Shield time to discuss this alone,” Micah says in a sickly sweet voice she reserves for B and Lucas. “But Mommy needs to remember that every door in this house has a lock for a reason and it’s not nice to be rude to a guest.” I so want to flip my sister off.

  “Micah, I believe you are supposed to be resting and not on your feet. I’ll be sure and let Sarge know that you’re not following your doctor’s instructions when I get back to the clubhouse.” Micah sticks her tongue out at Shield.

  “Not nice, Aunt Micah.” B is looking at Micah with her hand on her hip and her finger wagging at Micah. I want to laugh but I can’t. I have gotten on to B for sticking her tongue out at people and I also tell her it’s mean.

  “Don’t be a tattletale, Shield. Before you got a thing for my sister you were more fun. We were just coming to get the movie B wants to watch next. B is keeping me company by watching movies with me, and Aunt Deb has Lucas so you two can carry on when we’re gone but lock the door.” B walks over and picks up her movie and goes running out of the room. “I need to go after her before she takes my side of the bed.” Micah turns and starts to walk out the door.

  “Thanks, Sis, for keeping her occupied. I think Shield and I need to have a chat.” Shield stays quiet but I can feel his eyes on me.

  “I should be thanking you. It’s boring in the bedroom by myself and there is never a dull minute with B there. I am her favorite person now because I let her pick the movies sometimes.” Micah has been bored with staying on bedrest. That’s never a good thing when it comes to Micah. “Remember to lock the door.” Micah is never going to let me live this down. Micah goes out the door after she locks it from the inside and gives me a we-will-talk-later look. I feel Shield’s eyes on me, so I look him in the eyes.

  “I’m sorry about that. I was out of control. I forgot to lock the damn door and my daughter walked in on us making out. I don’t know how I could screw up so bad.” I have never been so embarrassed.

  “It could have been worse. They could have come in five minutes later and you would have been naked with my cock inside you.” I feel my face go red. I guess Shield is right, but damn, where did my head go?

  “We shouldn’t have been kissing, anyway.” I start to move away from Shield, but he takes my arms and draws me to him. I don’t fight it. I still feel the searing kiss we shared.

  “I want you and you want me. Why shouldn’t we be together? I claimed you as soon as you showed back up in Texas and I am moving into this house tonight so I can be closer to you and the children.” Shield says it so matter-of-factly that it takes a minute for me to comprehend what he’s said. Then it finally soaks into my brain. I push Shield away from me.

  “I’m no one’s ol’ lady or their property. I’m done taking orders from pompous assholes. I have a brain and I know how to use it.” I am seething on the inside. Have I been sending mixed signals to Shield? I have, haven’t I? Time to clear this up right now. “I’m not looking for a new man in my life. I want my independent life to live the way I want. It’s time I stand on my own two feet and I thought I had made myself clear on that.” I put my hand on my hip and pop my hip out. Yes, I’m giving attitude. Shield just smiles at me.

  “That’s cute.” Shield is taking me all in. “I like attitude but not the amount Micah throws out. Yours is cute, but you don’t have a choice in any of this except whether to go along with it or show your children how to throw a temper tantrum.” Shield smirks at me. “This has to do with yours, B, and Lucas’s safety. I claimed you to keep you all safe. I haven’t asked anything else from you. I’m still not but I want you to know it will happen. I’m a patient man. It will take less manpower to keep eyes on you and the children, Micah, and Deb at one time with both Sarge and I living here, so it is happening.” In my mind that makes sense, but I refuse to look weak by accepting it without a fight. I am not a weak woman anymore.

  “Do you know how to ask me instead of just dropping it in my lap? You might get a better reaction out of me, if you just ask nicely.” Shield laughs which pisses me off.

  “That was me saying it nicely. I had two hours to get an answer from you or you and the children were going on lockdown until this situation is handled. Dra has made our job more difficult with their added drama from Colorado. We have our own situation going on here and don’t have enough people to fill every spot and keep our businesses running properly.” Shield shifts on his feet and lets out a long breath. “I like you having your independence and you spreading your wings and doing your own thing, but it’s not going to change that you are my ol’ lady. I know you may need a little time to deal with that, but I have been patient with you; not that you would know that. This thing with Dra has made me speed up my timeline, so this is the rushed version of me letting you come to me. I wanted to move into your room, but I didn’t want to force it on you. I don’t have a choice now.” I open my mouth to say something, but Shield puts his finger to my mouth to let me know he’s not finished. “There are only three bedrooms here together and I need to be close in case of an invader trying to take you or one of the children. When Rye gets back, he will have Deb covered but their room is down the other hall. Sarge will be with Micah but he’s on the other end of the hall. The only thing close is your room and if we start moving the children around, B is going to catch on to something going on. We don’t want B worried. We are both adults and nothing will happen unless you say so. I’m not a rapist. We can share a bed, and everyone is safe. Now, tell me your objections, please.” I can’t fight Shield being sweet. Everything he has said makes sense. I don’t want B worried, but I want us all safe.

  “Shield, I can’t be an ol’ lady. We can argue that out after all this is done and over with but remember I warned you. I know you’re not a rapist and I know I am very lucky to have you protecting my family. The thing is, I don’t like having a man sleeping in my room in front of my children. Call me old-fashioned if you want or say I’m trying to lead by being a good example for my children. I don’t want them confused or to get hurt when this thing between us is over and you walk away. I’m an adult and know some things don’t last forever but then some do, or I hope they do. All I’m saying is I don’t know if this thing between us will last for a little while or if we will be a forever. I don’t want my children to pay if we don’t. They already love you and if you just disappear out of their lives, it could damage them.” I don’t know how else to express my doubts. I want my children protected from the harsher side of life.

  “Me walking away won’t be a problem since I’m not leaving. You and I are a we and we are staying that way. In time, we will become husband and wife with B
and Lucas as a family. Then I want to see you pregnant with our child but if you are opposed to that, I can live with it. I will be B and Lucas’s stepdad. We will love and respect each other the rest of our lives. No walking away and no running.” I walk to the window to look out. My whole insides are quivering from terror. Shield doesn’t know he just hit on my biggest fear. I compose myself.

  “Shield, I’m not looking for the fairy tale ending in a book for my life anymore. I thought I had that. The reason I say I can’t be an ol’ lady anymore is because Dra broke something inside me when he rejected and ridiculed me for not wanting to sleep with his club brother. I don’t have that in me. I said wedding vows and they might not have meant anything to Dra, but they meant everything to me. I can’t trust someone to want only me. I was never enough. I made it through Dra, but I wouldn’t make it again. There were nights I wanted to take my own life, but I couldn’t leave my children. I love B and Lucas with everything in me and I swore I would get them away from the venomous poison our home had become. I promised myself, if I got away from Dra that I would never be that doormat again and I won’t be. I know you mean what you are saying now but what about tomorrow or next month? I won’t be one of those single moms that goes from man to man. I want my children to learn you try your best not to hurt the people you love. B was frightened of Dra before we left Colorado and Dra never bothered to be in Lucas’s life. Please understand, Shield,” I plead with him. I don’t want to hurt Shield’s feelings, but I want him to understand how I feel.

  “Sit down here beside me.” Shield has made it over to my bed and is sitting down. I can do this. “I’m sorry Dra was an ass to you and the kids. Let me rephrase that—I’m sorry that you, B, and Lucas had to go through that. I’m glad Dra showed you his true colors sooner rather than later. I’m sorry you were alone and I’m sorry you are going through this now because the Troubled Fathoms MC doesn’t take care of their business the way they should. I’m not sorry that the circumstances brought you to me. I haven’t told you how I feel about you because I was giving you space to find yourself again. You are an amazing woman. You’re also the best mom I have ever met. You always put B and Lucas first. Everyone that meets you can’t help but like you. You’re like a ray of sunshine.” I look in Shield’s eyes as he talks to me and I know he believes what he’s saying. His voice is soothing my soul. “Do I remind you of Dra in any way? I know what I want and that is you and me to be a family with B and Lucas. I know I will sooner or later hurt you but it will never be on purpose. I will apologize and beg for your forgiveness and you will forgive me because you are a forgiving woman. I swear I will be faithful to not only you but to B and Lucas as well. They are part of our family and I will be faithful to our relationship. I’m not Stealth either. I don’t need different women to pay attention to me. The only person’s attention I need is yours. Just give us a chance.” Shield is tearing down my walls. If I could only trust my own decisions.