Surviving For Tomorrow (Demented MC: Quitman Chapter Book 1) Read online

  “Depends.” I wait a minute and look him straight in the eye to make sure he knows I am serious and I don’t like his smart ass mouth. “Do you have an ID?” He carefully moves his hand to his back pocket and takes his wallet out and shows me his ID with his name. I take the knife away from him but keep it in my hand. “I have already put up with being questioned by one man today. I don’t appreciate it. I am thankful for the help but my daughter is asleep, and it is late.” Brody has the sexiest smirk on his face.

  “So you met Rebel. How did that go? Don’t sound like you are too big of a fan. He thinks he has a way with the ladies, so I am surprised you don’t like him.” This man can not want chit chat at this time of night.

  “Yeah I noticed his flirty tone. He’s full of himself. Like I said, I appreciate the help. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but right now I don’t need him judging me.” I take a deep breath, and I know my attitude has more to do with the way these two men affect me than anything. “It’s just late, and this is a new place, and I’m tired right now, so if you don’t mind, I would just like to get some sleep or try to at least.” I glance at his face, and he doesn't look irritated.

  “That’s all good darlin’, I just thought I would let you know if you need anything I will be home until I get my next call out. I intend to stay close.” He says as he is already turning to leave. I remember my manners before he has left my doorway.

  “Thank you for looking out for us and good night.” I shut and lock the door and then reset the alarm. I take my cup over to the sink and pour the rest of the milk out and rinse my cup out. I quietly make my way up to Shelby’s room and look in on her to see her sleeping so peacefully. No way am I going to put my anxiety on her. I kiss the top of her head and put the covers up around her and I just watch her sleep.

  She is the only thing good that Kendall and I ever did. She is the best of both of us and I can’t let her down. It is my job to protect her even if it is from her own dad. I will protect her and love her enough for the both of us. I need to get my shit together so I can do that. I know I need to let her sleep right where she is. She needs to feel safe and she can only do that if she is confident in our surroundings. I turn and leave my baby. It is so hard but I know it is for the best. I want nothing more than to hold her close but for now I can’t.

  I make sure there is a night light left on and I leave the door partially open. I go back through the door to my room and leave it open. I see the big old bed and I know I am only going to toss and turn, but I might as well try to sleep a little. I climb into the middle of the bed and put my pillow where I usually snuggle Shelby at. I put another pillow under my head and I wiggle down under the covers. This is a very comfortable bed.

  I think back to the face Brody made when he figured out I was pointing the knife at a very sensitive spot on him and it makes me smile. It was almost like he was amused. Not what I need to be figuring out right now but it does make me smile. That is the last thought I have. With a smile on my face, even if it is temporary.

  “Mama, mama!” I hear Shelby but it seems so far away. I think I am dreaming, but I hear it again and peek my eye open. “Mama.” I realize I must have fallen asleep, but Shelby is awake now, so I jump up and run to her. When I enter her room, she is sitting in her bed looking around.

  “Good morning pretty girl. Mama is right here.” She gets the biggest smile on her face. I go to her baby bed and take her in my arms and give her the biggest hug. I grab a diaper and take her back to my room and sit her on my bed.

  “Mama is right here. Did you forget we moved?” I lay Shelby on the bed and grab the wipes from the bag. I finish getting her changed and then I snuggle her. Just the smell of her calms me. I tickle her tummy but I lean down a little too far and she grabs the pieces of my hair closest to her and pulls. Her sweet laugh fills the room. I take my hair form her hands and kiss it. “Are you hungry, baby girl? You want a bite, bite?” Shelby’s vocabulary is not very wide so bite, up mama, and ball are the only things that I can understand but the smile on her face lets me know everything I need to know.

  I look at the clock to see it is almost seven thirty so we did sleep late. Usually six o’clock and Shelby is up and going unless her daddy was there. Then I would feed her and we spent time together quietly until he was up and gone. I just don’t want to think about Kendall anymore. It is time to feed my girl.

  We make it to the kitchen and I look in the cabinets to look for some oatmeal. That’s what Shelby is used to. I don’t find the regular kind of oatmeal but there are some packets of some instant oatmeal so those will do.

  I get the high chair out of the corner and get Shelby situated. I read the directions on the back of the box and follow the directions and it’s not too long before the dinger is going off. I’m not too sure about instant oatmeal but I see a basket with some fresh fruit in it, so I get an apple and find a shredder in the drawer.

  I wash the apple and then cut and peel it. I shred part of the apple into the oatmeal and taste it. Tastes good for instant. I set the bowl on the table, give Shelby her first bite, and she seems to like it. I get her sippy cup out of the refrigerator where I put it last night and fill it with milk and set it on the table.

  I hear a knock on the door. I give Shelby another bite and I don’t forget what happened last night so I look out the window and there stands Rebel and Brody. I turn the alarm off and look down at myself.

  I have sleeper shorts and a tank on and all my bruises are easily seen. You can even tell my ribs are wrapped. It could be worse, at least I have a bra on. Then I realize Brody already saw me this way last night. Oh, well.

  The knocking begins again so I open the door. Rebel and Brody both look at me. I turn and go back to the kitchen to feed Shelby. It’s too early for cantankerous men. Shelby is getting impatient so I give her another bite. I look over my shoulder and both men are just watching. I have nothing to say to either of them so I just keep feeding my daughter.

  “No good morning?” Rebel is the first to talk, and he has that smirk on his face. He comes over to the table where I am sitting.

  “Bite, bite.” Shelby is not patient this morning so I give her a bite and she takes it all in her mouth and smiles. My Shelby loves her food. Rebel’s eyes never leave me.

  “I was just coming by to see if there was anything you found last night that I could help with?” Brody puts in. “Did you find anything in this old house that needs to be fixed yet?”

  “Do you two always come over so early in the morning?” I am trying to keep my voice even and not let Rebel’s smirk annoy me too much.

  “Sweetheart, I knew you would be eager to see me again and I was in town, so I took the chance to come by. I know most kids get up early and you being the good mom you are I figured you would be up feeding this little angel here. Besides, we need to finish our little talk from last night.” Rebel finally looks at Shelby. He gives her a genuine smile, but Shelby finally realizes we are not alone, so she is quiet. I give her another bite, and she likes that.

  “How old is she?” Brody asks.

  “She just turned one last week. She is shy around strangers, especially men.” I give Shelby her last bite and grab a paper towel to wipe her hands and face. I give her the cup of milk and she is happy. “I appreciate both your concern, but I haven’t been here long enough to do anything but sleep and just now feed Shelby.”

  I look at both men but they have noticed my ribs are wrapped and both are staring. “I am fine. Let’s take the elephant out of the room. I have bruises but they’ll fade eventually. My ribs will heal so don’t feel sorry for me. Rebel, you already saw this last night and Brody you did too, sorta. I’m just happy to be away from the monster who did this so it won’t happen again. Don’t feel sorry for me or pity me. I am strong and I will get through this. My first priority is always Shelby. I need to keep her not only safe but happy and healthy. She clings to me because of the things she has heard and witnessed. My biggest obstacle is going to b
e leaving Shelby so I can work. She’ll have to adjust and so will I, but please do not think you have to keep checking on me this much. Jilly sent me here so I could start over, but I need to be able to stand on my own two feet. Rebel, we have nothing further to discuss. I gave you answers last night. Again, I really do appreciate your help and keeping an eye out for us and I understand if I spot Kendall or his family to let you know. That is worth more to me than anything but my daughter. I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay all the kindness that is being given to Shelby and myself. I’m not used to having help and last night, even though it took me a while to go to sleep, it was the best sleep I have had in a long time.”

  “Well, sweetheart, that is a real nice speech, but I gave Jilly my word, and she is one of the few women in this world I respect, so you will just have to get used to me.” Rebel says in a sexy way or is that just me thinking it is sexy? “Are you just afraid you won’t be able to resist my sexy personality and you will be throwing yourself at me?” Did he really just go there?

  “And there is that arrogance that chases all the good ones away.” Brody seems irritated with Rebel, and he moves closer into where Rebel is standing. “Gracie, do you have any pictures of your ex? It’d be easier if we know who we are looking for? Any pictures of any of his family?” I hadn’t thought of that. I know I have pictures on my phone, but I was told not to turn it back on. I just hate to answer Brody.

  “Kaden said I could keep my phone but to take the battery out and not to turn it back on. It’s a prepaid but I did what he said. I have all sorts of pictures on there from before I was pregnant with Shelby. They are nearly two years old, but he looks the same except he’s lost weight.” Kendall wouldn’t even take one picture with me after I was pregnant.

  “You don’t have any pictures of the three of you or one with him and his daughter?” Rebel asks like it is my fault.

  “Kendall wouldn’t even hold Shelby so I had no chance to snap any pictures. After I became pregnant he said I was too ugly to be in a picture with him. He never had anything to do with Shelby. When he was home he was either sleeping, yelling or hitting on me, so I was glad when he was gone. His mom, Carol, came over, but she was always telling me I needed to keep my man happy and what I was doing wrong for a baby she barely had anything to do with. So no, I didn’t feel like having pictures of them together. I think I may have some of Kendall and his parents at our graduation on there.”

  I can’t look at either of them. I am embarrassed I would be with a man like Kendall. Even if he didn’t love or even like me, Shelby is his own flesh and blood. Brody steps towards me, but I back up. I guess I have a bad look on my face. I don’t like people to touch me anymore. I’m so used to the beatings I want no contact at all except for Shelby. He raises his hands in the air and backs away.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to give you some comfort.” Brody has an apologetic look on his face. “The man was a fool, and I will make sure he doesn’t get close to either of you as long as you are here.” He looks down into my eyes, I could get lost in his eyes. They are filled with such compassion, but that is not something I can afford to do.

  “We’ll all make sure the two of you stay safe. Can you get us that phone?” Rebel’s arrogance is gone for once. I move over to Shelby and start to take her out of her chair. “You can leave her. It won’t take you but a minute to get it.”

  I look at Rebel and then Brody and I have to decide now if I will trust them. I am only going to grab my phone. I look at Shelby and I do something that I have never done before, I trust them to watch my daughter for a few minutes. It may be small to other people but to me it is huge. I turn and rush over to the stairs and up them to my room to get the phone out of my backpack.

  I know exactly where it is but to me it seems like it takes me forever. In reality I am only gone a few minutes but I feel out of breath when I finally hand the phone to the first one I come to. I couldn’t even tell you which man it was. I only have eyes for Shelby when I am back in the room.

  I can’t believe my eyes, Brody is standing there with my baby in his arms and she is smiling at him like he is the best thing since her new baby doll that I bought her. I am flustered and all I want to do is grab my baby out of Brody’s arms, but Rebel catches me by the arm to get me to take a minute.

  I look at him and then to Brody and then finally to Shelby. She is fine and apparently has made a new friend, she’s smiling. Rebel lets my arm go and goes over and takes Shelby from Brody and she goes to him, shyly she smiles at him.

  I feel the tears mounting in my eyes and I have to turn a way so these two men cannot see me fall apart because my daughter likes them. I have worried that Shelby would never like to be held by a man because the way her dad had treated her, but here she is smiling at not one, but two men.

  Brody comes over by me while I listen to Rebel playing with Shelby. She’s laughing at him while he blows raspberries on her belly. I feel the tears slide down my face. I have to get a hold of myself. Shelby cannot see me this way. Brody takes me in his arms and hugs me. It’s almost too much kindness for me to take. I start to shake but Brody’s strong arms hold me steady. I wipe my face of the tears sliding down my cheeks.

  “It’s okay. We are here now to help you. Everything will be ok.” Brody’s deep reassuring voice steadies me, so I take a deep breath and back up.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have fallen apart like that. I have to be stronger than this. Thank you.” I glance up at Brody, and he has sympathetic eyes. “I'm not used to leaving Shelby with anyone. Jilly is the only one who has ever watched her, only once and only long enough for me to sneak our bags out of my house. She is usually so shy around people. Very few people besides me have even held her.” I glance at Rebel, and he is playing with Shelby but you can tell he has been listening to me. I step further back from Brody. “I’m okay now.” Brody nods his head like he understands.

  “It looks like this little angel isn’t the only one who is a bit standoffish with people. We only want to help.” There is no sarcasm at all in Rebel’s voice.

  “I know I keep saying it but thank you both. I will be stronger.” I look to both of them. Rebel winks at me.

  “You have done nothing wrong, and you can quit thanking us. We want to help both of you.” Then Brody does something I would have never guessed. He leans in and kisses me on the head and then he just leaves without another word. My mouth is hanging open. Rebel starts to laugh, and I look at him still playing with Shelby. I finally shut my mouth and walk to Rebel and take her from him.

  “He’s hooked you know. It’s been a long time since he has had a woman of his own but he has set his eye on you and that little beauty. Trust me, I know.”

  I can’t even say anything to that. I start shaking my head. This is not what I want. This is not why I am here. “Sweetheart, he has a hero complex. He can’t help himself. He wants to rescue everyone. It’s why he became a marine and now a bounty hunter. Taking out the bad guy and saving the good people.” Rebel is shaking his head while he talks. “It’s why he and Jilly could never be together. Her aunt and uncle raised him so they were supposed to be cousins, but their feelings were not those of blood kin. I had a front row seat for it. I was her consolation boyfriend but I wasn’t good enough. Brody couldn’t stand it.” Rebel shakes his head and laughs.

  I cannot believe he is standing her telling me this. “In the end we both lost her. That’s the last time he had that look in his eye that he just now did. Except for Selena, and that is a long story. That was a whole different look. Brody will try to run from it but it won’t do any good. He can’t run from his feelings. He never has been able to. Him and I may seem very different to you. He is the one that is nice, me on the other hand, not so much.”

  Rebel comes over and stands right beside me and Shelby and just looks at me. He seems to be trying to see inside me. I feel it in my soul. Then he shocks me even more. “But I can tell you, angel, that you are on
my radar too, and I don’t run from what I want, so be ready. I will give you time to get used to your surroundings but then I am coming for you, and I want all of you.” He then kisses my cheek.

  I go board straight and hold my breath. He kisses Shelby’s head and then laughs at me while he is walking to the door, but turns back when he gets there and looks at me. “Only thing is Babe, I want you in my bed and I will have you. If that man comes anywhere close to you I will put him to ground. No one fucks with what is mine and you are going to be mine.” Then he just walks out of the door. I am speechless. I go to the door and shut and lock it. Then I set the alarm. What the heck have I gotten myself into?

  “Mama.” Shelby is looking at me, but she looks happy. I finally know my next move. I have been on a rollercoaster the last hour. I head towards the stairs.

  “Yes sweetie, it is time to get you a bath, and I need to get a paper and find me a job. We have to get the heck out of here as soon as we can. These people are crazy.” That’s all it could be, and I need to get myself away from here. I make my way upstairs to get us clean and changed and ready to get this day going.

  Chapter 4

  Brody

  I can’t believe I let Gracie get to me. I have learned from my past I am better alone. Only two women have ever owned my heart, and I learned real fast it is not worth the pain. Sure, I have had my share of women but not the sticking around kind. Only Jilly and Selena. I was always Jilly’s second choice, and Selena destroyed what was left of my faith in a relationship.